In May 2017, my daughter and I were caught up in the Manchester Arena Terror Attack. Our lives took a very different direction that night, and it is the reason I do the work I do today.
In the two years after the attack, my daughter developed PTSD, dysmenorrhoea and epilepsy, all while we waited for access to therapy. When she finally reached talk therapy, she saw three therapists in six weeks and because she doesn’t find it easy to talk to new people, she never went back. I was then left asking what on earth I could do now to support her.
While I held everything together for her, my own buried PTSD began to surface. Daily anxiety, sleeplessness, waking with a pit in my stomach, shaking, disassociation, and gastrointestinal issues. My hip pain had also become so severe that I had to have a second hip replacement. I had no idea then how much I would come to understand about the way emotional trauma manifests as physical dis-ease.
At the end of 2021, I started researching how trauma can be held in the body. I trained in Belief Coding and during that training, I identified eleven past events that were still sitting in my pelvic space, including sexual trauma in my teens, toxic relationships, a difficult birth and thirty years of gynaecological problems. This realisation that past events can still sit within the body led me to training in Holistic Pelvic Care, hoping to help my daughter.
What happened next surprised me. Symptoms I had lived with for decades—including cysts, recurring bacterial vaginosis, painful sex, cervical ectropion, vaginal dryness, vaginal numbness, swelling and a painful episiotomy scar—resolved. I began to understand what a healthy pelvis actually felt like and how to recognise when something felt off. But the biggest change was how I felt. I had carried shame and disconnection from that part of my body for years, and it began to lift; I not only developed a more positive and loving relationship towards myself but also transformed into a completely different person.
Turning what I learned into something for other women
I realised during my training that in-person vaginal examinations are extremely triggering for a lot of women, and my daughter and I were among them. So I adapted what I had learned into an online programme where women learn to understand their own bodies at home, in privacy and at their own pace.
I have a master’s degree in curriculum development, so I designed a Vaginal Literacy curriculum. Everything in it is something that changed my life first. Today I teach women online and support them through their own pelvic health challenges.
What is vaginal literacy?
Vaginal literacy & Vaginal Interoception simply mean knowing and sensing your own body well enough to know what is normal for you. Most of us were never taught this. We know what our teeth and skin usually look like, but many of us have never really looked at, or felt into our own pelvic space. Then something changes, and we don’t know what we’re comparing it to.
It is about reclaiming autonomy over your own body. When you know your normal, you can spot when something doesn’t look or feel right, and take it to a medical professional with confidence and clear words. It doesn’t replace medical care. It helps you use it better.
What I see in the women I work with
Many women arrive carrying shame & trauma. In my experience, women hold a lot of stress and emotion in their pelvic space, so I take a trauma-informed approach. Nothing is rushed, and the woman is always in charge. Some have found that buried experiences came to the surface in a single session, and having a safe space to acknowledge them has led to powerful and transformational realisations that result in deep healing.
I also believe in a pelvic health routine, in the same way we have an oral health routine. We brush our teeth daily to keep out of the dentist’s chair, and I’d love to see women give their pelvic health the same everyday care. More than 740,000 women in the UK are on NHS gynaecology waiting lists, and one in six experiences pelvic pain. However, I know that a higher percentage suffer in silence and just deal with it. If more of us understood our bodies and looked after them early, I believe the pressure on those waiting lists could come down. Learn to listen to your body, before your body has to shout.
A moment that changed my perspective
I began this work to help my daughter, and I healed myself by accident. The thing I had avoided for thirty years turned out to be the thing I most needed to listen to.
For the woman reading this now
Your body isn’t the enemy. If you are waiting for appointments, feeling dismissed or carrying something you have never said out loud, you are not alone, and you are not too late. Start small. Get curious. Notice what is normal for you. Please keep talking to your GP or a medical professional about anything that worries you, and remember that you deserve to be listened to, most of all by yourself.
From silence to sovereignty is possible, one small step at a time.
