Mic tap. Tap.. Tap tap.. tap..
I curiously look around a room that could be empty or packed full.
…Overhead lights blinding my eyes.
“Is this thing on?”
Thud thud thud.
A louder test to this thing that’s supposed to project my message louder…
Finally the squeal of feedback hits my ears.
“Oh. Ok. There we go.”
Staring straight into the abyss, I ask again.
“Are you ladies ok out there?”
No response.
“No seriously. I know this thing is on.”
I can feel their energy rustling. The uncertainty of their ability to respond. The fear of what’s to come in holding this question in their mind’s eye and hurting hearts.
The house lights drop and I can see every one of their faces glowing in front of me.
Mom’s with babies on their hips. Women holding their womb. Angry scowls and fixed jaws. Darting eyes and legs braced to exit.
Women wearing Jimmy Choos and Vera Wang clutching Prada purses. Others with worn hand me downs and their latest discount snag.
Those that struggle with disconnection to themselves, their partner, their kids, and/or their family.
Those that have a severed relationship to their body, their heart, and their womb.
Those that feel lost and confused in the washing machine that is life as a modern day woman.
I HEAR YOU, I whisper.
Your inner dialogue of inquiry, hypercriticalness, and helplessness reverberating in my ears.
I SEE YOU, I offer.
Reading the books, skimming blogs, watching youtube videos, and confiding in friends.
I FEEL YOU, I finally scream.
The tossing and turning at night, clenching your teeth and pelvic floor during the day, your whole body tensing with anger, despair, and confusion at where you’re at.
I can do all this because I have experienced parts of what you have experienced. Held women in what you are experiencing.
And hold a tenderness for the tiny little girls staring back at me attempting to navigate this wild wild world as adult women.
I want you to know this tenderness I feel. That I have found, cultivated, and gifted to myself and others is REAL..
And It’s available for you too.
But you can’t find it in stores, a manual, or pill bottle.
It can only be found WITHIN YOU.
And with so much gentleness, I want to remind you….
You are the gatekeeper of all the sensations and emotions within. You are the knower of all that you need to feel safe and whole. You are the permission giver to all of the things you desire and dream about.
So let this be my message of remembering both the simplicity and complexity of life as one that may consistently hurt on a physical, emotional, and energetical level.
Of your ability to hold safety in the unknown.
Of the permission to let yourself unravel.
Of the gift that is advocating for what you know, what you need, and lengths you will go to get it.
Let this be the re awakening of the whisper that grows to a roar.
“Just keep going. You know the way.”
